Early in the New Year, 2007, I heard from a friend about the Triple-play offer from the Qatar national telephone Co. or Qtel: cable, high speed internet plus a land line for 250 Qatar Riyals per month. It was a good deal so I decided to subscribe. You may want to get it yourself so I will outline below my experience in 14 easy steps:

Step 1
I went to the Qtel booth at Landmark Mall to sign up. “Sorry, not here; you must go to City Center office.” OK I did.

Step 2
At City Center: “No, you must fist fill out this application form.” OK, No problem, I sat to complete it.  But there was a problem: the application required my electricity number, my Qtel account number, my Qtel number (difference?), my telephone account number and my residency number. I had to go home to find this information.

Step 3
At the Qtel building on Salwa Road next day, I presented the completed form with all the information and the 300QR installation fee. “You must show a picture ID.” No problem, I showed my Qatar National Bank photo ID. “No, you must show your State of Qatar photo ID.
“Why?” I asked. “It’s the same photo and QNB is the national bank.”
“State of Qatar ID is the only one we accept.”

Step 4
I returned to City Center with the completed application form, 300QR, and state photo ID card. I talked to a very nice gentleman who checked to see if the service was available in my area. (Available?) After a tense minute or two he happily informed me that it was. (Whew!)

Then he checked the information I had supplied: my electricity number, etc., all of which he already had on his computer on the Qtel system. So, I had just wasted hours looking it up.

“Will you be home in an hour?” he said.
“Why?” I asked.
“I will phone you in an hour with your Triple-play installation code number. Then you dial 111.”

“OK.” I dutifully drove home and waited by my land phone, since I had no cell phone at the time. If I had thought to hang around the mall for an hour, I would most likely have gotten the code number then, but hind sight …

Step 5
At home an hour later, I waited for the call. Twelve hours later I went to bed and still no call.

Step 6
Next day I went back to City Center. The pleasant man was gone so I stood in the line and waited to speak with an equally pleasant woman. “No problem,” she said, and gave me my 4 digit installation code. “Just dial 111 and tell them your code, and they will set up an installation date; it should take 2 months.” That’s a long wait, I thought, but worth it for the improved service.

Step 7
Later that day I dialed 111 at least 20 times and I listened to recorded music for several hours. Then my phone rang. It was the pleasant man from the previous day with my 4 digit installation code. “I already have it,” I said. He was surprised and we laughed together.

Step 8
The next day another friend told me that I could also reach them at 115, so I tried that number and soon spoke to the Triple-play lady. “Hello, is the installation code place?” I asked.
A cool female voice replied, “What is your telephone number?”
“No, I want to give you my installation code,” I said.
“We already have that. What is your phone number?”
“You have it! But I have been days trying to get it!”
“Phone number please.”
I gave it.
“Your service will be installed on Tuesday,”
“This Tuesday? What time on Tuesday; I’ll be at work.”
“They will phone you with the time.”
“What if I wait all day and they don’t phone.”
“Call us back.”
“What is your number?”
“115 or 111”
“What is your name?”
“I’m sorry sir; we don’t give that information over the phone.” Click.

Step 9
Of course, they did not call, so at home late on Tuesday I phoned 115.
“Hello, I’m waiting for the installation of my Triple Play service.”
“It will take about two months sir.”
“But I have an installation appointment for today.”
“Who gave you that appointment?”
“You did, or another lady at this number.”
“What was her name?”
“She wouldn’t tell me her name.”
“She is crazy; installation will be in 2 months on March 3rd.”

Step 10
Months passed. I waited at home on March 3, 2007. Two Filipino men arrived with electronic gear to install Triple Play. They drove a nice van with professional looking signage, so I thought I was going to be OK. They crawled under my computer desk and muttered to each other. Then one closed the tool box with a snap and went back to the truck. The other, the boss, answered frantic calls on his cell phone. These calls were so loud that I could hear people screaming at him in Arabic, English, and perhaps Filipino. “We will be right there,” he shouted back into the phone which he held away from his head.
Between calls he turned to me. “Sir, you need a 12-meter phone-to-computer cable.”
“What? You’re the installation guys. Don’t you bring cable?”
“You must get 12-meter cable.” Then he added as an afterthought, “and USB port for hook up cable.”
“What is that? Where can I get one? ”
“Electronic store. Sofatel. Souks.” He rushed off to another appointment, his cell phone ringing.

Step 13
At home again after several repeated steps with the ladies at 115, the two Filipinos returned and examined the port and cable which I had purchased. They then set to work at about noon to hook up the service. Two hours later, after several excited exchanges and a dozen phone calls, they started to pack up their gear. “Does it work?” I asked.
“It will work tomorrow, no problem.”
“Does my computer still work?” No answer, heads down packing away tools, as if failing to understand the question.
“Does my phone work?”
“Problem with Qtel code. We will get it later.”
“Does my TV still work?”
“Code will fix TV too, no problem.”
“Are you telling me that you’ve been working for two hours, and now I have no phone, no TV, and no computer?”
There was an awkward silence. The fellow packing the tools looked towards the door.  I added “and still no cable?”
The boss then said, “We have other appointment at 2pm.” His cell phone rang and I could hear more shouting.
The helper clicked his tool box shut, quietly.

Step 14 The Magic Step
I remember walking to the door where my keys always hang in the lock. I turned the lock and put the keys in my pocket. The two gentlemen were staring at me and I heard myself talking in an unusually loud voice: “Forget your other appointment. You are not leaving this villa until you fix my TV, phone and computer just like they were when you arrived.  I can do without cable and your bloody Triple Play.”
Then silence; even the voice shouting from the phone had stopped to listen.
The boss said, “But you must get the code from Qtel.”
“No, “You must get the code from Qtel or I am calling the police; you have destroyed all my electronic equipment. (Calling? How? Borrow his cell phone?)
The guy with the box did not completely understand that he was being kidnapped and his face awed as his boss explained the situation in Filipino. “Ohhh,” he said thoughtfully turning the idea over in his mind, and then he re-opening his tool box.
The boss got on the phone to Qtel. I stood in front of the door with my arms folded across my chest.
15 minutes later everything worked fine and we were all smiling like three survivors of a natural disaster.
“Everything good now,” the boss told me between calls.
“Thank you,” I said and gave them each 10QR.
Then he said, “We think we quit this job; everybody shout at us. But not you,” he quickly added, glancing at the still-locked door.
Then I unlocked it and they went off to their next appointment, his cell phone still ringing.

Thomas Moore
Doha, Qatar
June 4, 2007

I am a Canadian writer originally from Newfoundland. I presently work as a communications instructor at College of the North Atlantic - Qatar.
I have lived in Doha for the past 4 years, and I am currently looking for someone to collaborate with on the production of my new feature film script and stage play.