The alarm goes off, your husband’s pretence not to have heard it makes you think, “And yet again I have to turn it off!” For some of you it may be the other way around. Slothfully you open your eyes wishing you had the day off. Waking up at 5a.m. might not be the most beautiful feeling, but as most offices open at 7a.m. here, it is definitely a wise one. Finally, you drag yourself out of bed and look into the mirror, the state of your hair makes you look like a woman from the early ages but your sweet smile is a consolation that elates you for a long hectic day.
For some of you who have kids, it’s even harder. You probably thought you were over with school - but - you tend to relive that life every time they leave for the school at 6:30 am, most of them half asleep.
Cleaning the kitchen floor five times a day, checking every window pane for signs of dust, making sure every meal of the day is no less than a gourmet delight, looking like a star for an evening out, changing your kids clothes every time they dirty them, making sure your kids score the best grades, keeping your nails perfect, caring for elders in the family, and above all regularly keeping a check on your weight takes a toll on you.
And with all this you have a boss to deal with, your colleagues and the gossipmongers, and not to forget the relatives back home complaining and demanding to be called every weekend. Even the schoolteachers keep you on your toes as you end up doing half of your kid’s homework. Above all, your desire to excel in all that you do - from keeping your husband happy to showing up at the parent teacher meeting, from cooking classes to a daily workout - exhausts you completely. Some of us have started living with the Superwoman Syndrome without even realising it.
Roberta B. Abrams in Finding your Balance states, “Super woman Syndrome leads to chronic stress triggering depression in women.” According to the National Mental Health Association one in every four women develops signs of clinical depression during her lifetime. But many women, rather most of us choose to ignore the symptoms.
Dr Angie Chesser, working at ?OSU & Harding Behavioral Healthcare, advising on how to combat the Superwoman Syndrome says, “First, determine the areas of your life you can streamline and where you can ask for help. Do not expect others to read your mind or just “know” what help you need. Then, call a family meeting to discuss how everyone can pitch in to help make the household run more smoothly.”
?”Ensure you don’t set your standards too high. Avoid excessive criticism of others. Potential helpers might get discouraged and avoid their tasks. ? Take a hard look at what activities outside the home contribute to your pressured feelings,” she adds.
Few Arab women, wanting to be anonymous, said that there may be women in Doha who face these issues but most of the Qatari women are laid back and like to enjoy life as it comes, unlike their western counterparts who have to work very hard to earn a living. They said, “In the Arab culture family ties are very strong and you always get support from your relatives in times of need.”
But as Qatar is opening up to new developments, women here are equally participating. Most expatriate women juggle family with work gracefully. But working in the fastest growing economy of the Middle East is not always easy and one may find it hard to relax.
“Taking care of your self physically and emotionally is crucial in order to care for others. If you start telling yourself, “I don’t have time,” remember this is your Superwoman self-speaking! Above all, know you aren’t alone. You have the tools to tackle it. Use them!,” Chesser advises.
To conclude in Trudy J. Morgan-Cole words, “Don’t keep working till you drop, rather, drop to your knees —or into a comfortable chair—right now and ask God to refill and restore you. Taking time to renew your spirit isn’t selfish—it’s essential.”
